Exceeding the Standards...

(The always impeccably turned out Roger Rabbit - I love my greys!)

Hey Everyone! Hope you had a fun and safe Independence Day weekend! I actually enjoyed a very quiet weekend - it was the first weekend I had "off" since the first weekend of May, so it felt good to just be lazy and have some time to myself, especially with Festival on the horizon...

Speaking of Festival...Do you realize that exactly TWO WEEKS from today is what Chief HM judges call "Paperwork Day"? In non-Chief language, it's the first day of mounted competition, which means it's Turnout Inspection day! Turnout Inspection day is the day when you and your horses and ponies look your absolute most fabulous best, but I know it can be a bit stressful getting everything together to have that picture-perfect look, and it only gets harder as you move up the ranks. Since turnout inspections have always been one of my most favorite parts of Pony Club, I thought I would write down a few tips I've learned over the years. So, here it goes!

Tip 1: BE ON TIME. There is no faster way to sink your team's morale than to show up late to your turnout inspection. As a judge, it breaks my heart to see a kid who has tried so hard end up getting deductions for being late, but it's a very important life lesson. Your turnout inspection is your Pony Club job interview; you have to show up on time. In that same vein, there is such a thing as being too early. Making your horse stand in the waiting area 20 minutes before your scheduled time is a bit silly, and usually ends with a very antsy-prancy horse when you're actually being judged. The ideal range is 5-8 minutes before your scheduled time.

Tip 2: Practice your horse's ground manners before the rally! Yes, I know a rally is very exciting for a horse, but it's not an excuse for your horse to trample all over you or me. Just as you need to practice your jog out skills, you should also practice making your horse stand for a turnout inspection. Having a horse with good ground manners will not only keep you (and your judge) from getting trampled, but will also make your turnout inspection go faster! For those of you who *hate* turnout, this is a good thing! Also, it will make a super impression on your judge!

Tip 3: Make sure you know whether your attire is correctly formal or informal. I usually start every turnout inspection with the question, "how are you dressed today?" I think it's a good ice breaker to get you guys talking (and if you're talking, you must be breathing!), but sometimes the reaction I get makes me feel like I've asked you to explain how a space shuttle works! If you're unsure about anything relating to attire and whether it's formal or informal, check out HM Rule 7i (you'll find it on page 11).

Tip 4: Make sure you know the attire and tack guidelines for your discipline. Without fail, it seems like I encounter some tack or attire "issue" at a rally. And by issue, I don't mean fit issue. I mean, stuff that just isn't allowed! Make sure you review the attire and tack rules for your discipline so that you KNOW your equipment is on the up-and-up BEFORE you get to Champs. And no, the excuse, "they let me use it at every other rally," is not an acceptable inquiry. Period.

Tip 5: Don't use saddlesoap to clean your riding boots. One of the easiest ways to get an Exceeds Standards as a D or C1/C2 is to have super-shiny boots. Unfortunately, one of the most common missteps I see is Pony Club members cleaning their riding boots with saddlesoap -egads! Riding boots, particularly fancy tall boots, are made with a much finer grade of leather than your saddle, and typical saddlesoap products are waxy and dull the shine. Therefore, the best thing to use is shoe cleaner (I use a product called Kiwi Leather Lotion, a bottle of which costs about $5 at Wal-Mart or Target). It's like a really refined leather cleaner conditioner - you apply a thin layer, let dry, then buff with a brush. If I need to touch up the polish, I usually use a thin layer of cream polish, let dry, buff, then shine with an old pair of pantyhose. Trust me - your boots will be mirrors!

(Left: Roger's sparkly browband!)

Tip 6: Polish your metal with an actual metal polish. I have been obsessed with brass clincher browbands since they first became popular with the eventing crowd (which, yes, was before most of you were born.) In fact, the brass clincher browband on my beloved Roger Rabbit's jumping bridle is...um...17 years old. And it is always blindingly shiny. My product of choice - mainly for effectiveness and ease of use - is Nevr Dull (no, I didn't misspell Never), and a tin will last you a ridiculously long time. I also like Simichrome polish, but always go back to Nevr Dull mainly because it makes the least amount of mess and I get all my brass polished in a very short time. Just wiping your metal (particularly brass) with a rag is insufficient - the polish helps take the residue that dulls the shine off. Just don't use the polish on the mouthpiece of your bit.

Tip 7: It's never too early to deal with a dandruff "situation." If your horse has a dandruff "issue," you should probably start dealing with it now. Start with a human dandruff shampoo (I use Head and Shoulders Soft 'n' Silky on the greaseball pony, and have also heard good things about Suave Dandruff for Men from Pony Club members). Okay, that didn't work? Try a couple of consecutive days of treatment with Listerine (you need to try and pull the flakes out as you apply the shampoo and/or Listerine - none of the treatments will magically dissolve existing dandruff!) Listerine not working? Try MTG shampoo. If you start in advance, you should have "the situation" under control.

Tip 8: Don't wait until the last minute to clean the "unmentionables." Yes, sheath and udder cleanliness is still on the standards, and judges will at least attempt to check (although do let your judge know if they are at risk of getting their head kicked off!) A funny thing to note - this year, I've actually seen far cleaner sheaths than udders, which I find absolutely mind-boggling. I mean, udders are pretty uncomplicated to clean, but they can get just as gunky as a sheath. In terms of cleaning, you can use plain water, water with a touch of Ivory soap, or commercial sheath cleaners. If your horse is pretty dirty, you may want to use baby oil to help soften the smegma and make it easier to remove, but do realize that the oil will attract dirt if not rinsed out.

Well, I think that covers most of my "big deals," but if you have any questions about how to ace your turnout inspection, feel free to ask them in the comments section!

13 days until Festival 2011!!! Better get crackin' on that dandruff!!! :)

(Roger Rabbit expresses his opinion about getting yet ANOTHER bath...oh, the curse of being a grey horse!)